Long gone are the years when the children were little. Back then, the house was filled with children’s laughter, with sleepless nights when they were ill, with toys they preferred to bring into the living room or the kitchen—simply to be close to you. With bedtime stories and songs, with amazement at every developmental milestone, and little bouquets of flowers and stones that small hands placed into yours. Back then, you taught them to play together without fighting, answered their many questions, and entrusted them to the Good Shepherd.
The teenage years are history as well—the years when little children grew into young people with their own ideas and feelings, often pushing the limits: discussions, the stress of school, friendships, grand dreams, and first disappointments. A time when you had to learn to set boundaries while at the same time extending trust. A time full of contradictions—joy and worry, hope and anxiety. You gave them tasks and responsibilities to prepare them for life.
And the years of young adult children living at home are also behind you—conversations and decisions about studies, work, and relationships shaped everyday life. The house grew quieter, yet it was still full of life, shared meals, music, and laughter. During that time, you were aware that many things might change soon. And more than ever you prayed that God would provide, that He would bring the right people into the family—people you could then welcome into your heart as sons- and daughters-in-law.
You have also now experienced the first true “letting go” —when the first child became independent. Mind and heart had to adjust to this new situation. For even if your child did not move far away, the reality described in Genesis 2:24—that a person leaves father and mother—became reality. And then it progressed very quickly—one child after another left the family home, becoming independent. Your family grew, and now the house is often noisy and lively when everyone comes to visit—only to become all the quieter once they have all left.
Have you made this experience, too—or has your house grown quiet for a different reason? Whatever your life situation may be, this newly created vacancy is a wonderful opportunity to allow it to be filled with God’s love. It is a chance to deepen and renew your devotion to the Lord, as described in Romans 12:1–2: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)
Dedication in the new season of life
Surely you have already dedicated your life to the Lord. And yet, new circumstances in life also bring new challenges. Often we find ourselves struggling, and God desires, through His grace, to lead us to the victory already won long ago at Golgotha.
It is God’s compassion that allows us, right now, to intentionally place our lives into His hands. Even when children have left home, a season of life comes to a close, or familiar responsibilities end, we are not at the mercy of the passage of time, and our lives lose neither value nor meaning. We may come quietly before God and allow Him to fill every lack with His presence. This truth applies to every circumstance of life: the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ, gives His sheep abundant life (John 10:10b).
Is it really the case that we have already fulfilled our purpose in life when we become empty nesters? No—for our earthly service to God does not end until He calls us home to heaven. As long as we walk this earth, we may again and again risk new steps of faith by serving, loving, and living our short lives in view of eternity. Paul writes: “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10).
You may seek God’s nearness through prayer, by reading His Word, and in quiet reflection on what He has done in your life and what He still intends to do. You may come to find rest at His heart and allow Him to fill every need. Be assured that He has responsibilities waiting for you. Commit your everyday life to Him: your time, thoughts, worries, plans—and also your vulnerability, which surfaced when the familiar pattern and daily rhythm of life changed.
In bringing all this to God, you allow Him to mold you and focus your perspective in this new phase of life. He uses your experience and your personality and equips you with the gifts of His Spirit for service in His kingdom. How wonderful to be a child of God—loved, guided, and needed! Ask Him: “Lord, what should I learn in this new phase? Whom can I encourage? What should I do?”
I recall a mountain hike during which God comforted and strengthened me in a special way. It was in Austria, shortly before our older children became independent. My heart was heavy because an unfamiliar season of life was beginning. But the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the beauty around me, and I became aware of it again. As we continued walking, the landscape changed, and time and again a new, wonderful scene was revealed: first toward one mountain, then the next, and finally, a valley on the other side. Step by step, God gave me a new perspective: It will be different—but good. Still beautiful and fulfilling, because Jesus Christ stays with us.
From silence to renewed fruitfulness
Why is a renewed, deeper commitment necessary in this season of life? Because every farewell—even a good and natural one—requires an adjustment. After years of giving, the heart needs a new focus so that no hidden vacuum develops, but rather, the Holy Spirit can fill it anew. Because your value and identity are not determined by outward circumstances, but by the One who created you, walks with you, and wants to use you for His glory—in every chapter of your life.
It is necessary, because God has not given you a task only for past years, but also wants to entrust you with responsibility now and in the future. He has not stopped guiding you simply because your children are independent. Perhaps, right now, a season of faith begins that is deeper, calmer, and at the same time more fruitful than anything you had before.
Jesus says, “Apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). If you remain in the vine, the empty nest —which initially felt frightening—will become a place where God’s presence is tangible, His peace dwells, and new, blessed fruitfulness emerges.
Helene Rotfuss
Pforzheim, Germany
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