No ship leaves port with the goal of sinking. No train sets off expecting to derail at some point. No one embarks on a trip with the intention of losing their life far from home. You already know what I’m getting at.
Similarly, no one enters into marriage thinking that it could one day fall apart. On the contrary—how much joy, excitement, and hope there was in anticipation of the big day. The countdown to the wedding was on; hearts were full of expectations, dreams, and confidence. A future painted in warm colors was imagined. Love was strong, trust was great.
That marriages can fail? Yes—maybe for others. But not for us. No, never. We loved each other too much for that, we were too determined, we were too sure: something like that wouldn’t happen to us. That’s what we thought. That’s what we hoped. That’s what we resolved.
And yet…sometimes life turns out differently.
And so it was. Great happiness did not materialize. One’s own expectations were not fulfilled. At some point, you realized that although you were married, you remained lonely. You were a couple, yet alone. The relationship lagged behind on all levels. You only exchanged the bare minimum of words. And at some point, you became painfully aware that something had gone completely wrong, and what you never thought possible had become reality—your marriage was broken. Like a vase that had fallen off the table, all that was left was a pile of broken pieces. Despite all your efforts and many sincere prayers, in the end, the marriage could not be saved.
Thousands of questions inevitably spring to your mind. How could it have come to this? It is difficult to assess the situation yourself. The pain weighs heavily on your soul. As if surrounded by thick fog, you can no longer see the way forward. And then there is the question of guilt: Who is responsible for the breakdown of the marriage? In many cases, it seems clear—the other person should have behaved differently; then none of this would have happened. Or… could you yourself be partly to blame? Such thoughts arise and are burdensome. Parents and friends try to give well-meaning advice, but inside, everything feels confusing; nothing really makes sense.
Every case is unique. It may be clearly recognizable sin or character flaws, unfulfilled expectations that make life difficult, or the marriage changed from being for each other to being alongside each other and finally against each other. Whatever it was, the result remains the same: the marriage is broken. Emotions ebb and flow like ocean waves: disappointment, blame, bitterness, resentment, anger—even hatred. It is almost impossible to think clearly. Inner peace is destroyed. You are left standing amid the shards of the past and a fear of the future. You have only one wish: that this pain would finally end.
And now? – What next? Does life still have meaning? Or should one simply give up? The injustice that was experienced, or perhaps one’s own failure, ushers away all hope. And the children – if they are part of this equation – will they now grow up with only one parent? You can hardly imagine life as a single parent. Aren’t they doomed to failure from the start? The “shambles” really speak of hopelessness. The “vase” is broken. Is there really no hope left? From a human perspective, there is hardly anything left to hope for.
Perhaps you haven’t picked up your Bible in a long time. In your situation, that’s understandable. And yet, it is precisely in the most difficult hours that the Bible wants to be our guide, for, ultimately, the Bible is God’s word. And God is a God of hope. God knows no hopelessness. He can help in the most difficult circumstances, and even where we currently see no way out, He can pave a way.
In Psalm 34:18, David writes: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (NIV). In the CEV translation, the verse reads: “The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.” Let these words sink in. Perhaps you can relate to what David describes—probably from his own experience: a broken heart, a crushed spirit, hopelessness. You might say, “That’s me! That’s my situation!”
When you are lost in thought, it is easy to overlook what is probably the most important part of the verse: “The Lord is close….” Perhaps you feel abandoned, let down, misunderstood, or even shunned by people. David uses only four words, but they proclaim simply and clearly: “The Lord is near!” He is there! Perhaps you have not sensed this before and thought that God had abandoned you. Let me correct you: that is not the case. God sees you, loves you, and carries you. He promises help and will bring you through. Above all, He is approachable and understands you. And where you are at fault, He forgives, “for He will abundantly pardon” (Jeremiah 55:7).
“The Lord is close!” – these words give hope. Not all is lost. It is not the end for you. On the contrary: with God’s help, you will make it. David expressed the same thought in Psalm 23:4: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” You will notice that he switches from the third person to the first person. Not only is the Lord near, he says it personally: “You are with me.”
In my office, a sign on the wall constantly reminds me of an important truth: “Yesterday is over. Tomorrow is not here yet. And today, the Lord helps.” That’s exactly how it is. There’s hardly anything we can do to change yesterday. Worrying about tomorrow doesn’t help. All we have is today. And today, the Lord will help me. “The Lord is close…” (Psalm 34:18). Do the same and trust that He will help you TODAY, give you strength, show you the way, and give you what you need TODAY. Live for TODAY and put your future in God’s hands. You read that right. You too have a future. God will take care of your tomorrow. Trust Him.
Fix your eyes on the Lord. Let Him realign you. Put all your hope in Him and remain faithful, even when life is difficult. Paul Gerhard (1607–1676) wrote a song that has gone down in history as a blessing and still resonates today.
“Thy way and all thy sorrows,
Give thou into His hand, –
His gracious care unfailing,
Who doth the heav’ns command.
Their course and path He giveth
To clouds and air and wind;
A way thy feet may follow,
He too for thee will find.”
He will find a way for you too. In the midst of uncertainty and pain, God holds your hand. You are not lost—you have a future, and He walks the path with you. “The Lord is close” (Psalm 34:18).
Harry Semenjuk
Wetaskiwin, AB
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