One thing all people seem to have in common is that they have insecurities about themselves. It doesn’t matter who you might ask, all people perceive things about themselves that they would like to change. The desire for improvement and growth can be a great thing, especially when it’s brought on by healthy kinds of motivation. However, if we’re not careful, we can allow ourselves to want to change who we are because of dangerous and impure motives.
For example, it is good to want to exercise more and eat better because we feel unhealthy and recognize the importance of taking care of our bodies. That’s positive and healthy motivation to change our lives. Unfortunately, far too many people try to change who they are because they dislike or even hate certain things about themselves, and when that’s our motivation, it usually doesn’t matter how much we change, since we never reach the point of being content with who we are.
There are various reasons why we often feel self-conscious about ourselves. One reason would be our society and the media that portray unrealistic standards of what they say we should be like and look like. These are standards that are not only unnatural but are also deeply rooted in the lusts of the flesh and the pride of life.
But there are also other reasons why we tend to feel inadequate about certain parts of our lives; for example, when we lack self-esteem and self-worth. Starting with this article, and continuing in next month’s publication, we want to see what God’s Word says about these topics and others related to our identity in Christ. It is my desire that this study would help us to see ourselves as God sees us.
Let’s begin by defining self-esteem. An online health resource defines self-esteem as: “the manner in which we evaluate ourselves. It is our internal assessment of our qualities and attributes.” The source continues by explaining that there are generally two extremes of unhealthy self-esteem. “Firstly, you can think too highly of yourself, which can lead you to fall into the trap of narcissism. When your self-esteem is too high, you exaggerate your positive traits or deceive yourself about your faults and weaknesses.” “In contrast, when you have low self-esteem, you underestimate – or flat out ignore – your positive characteristics.” I find that it’s a low self-esteem that causes the greatest issues. We tend to undervalue ourselves and ignore our positive characteristics and gifts. How should we as Christians see ourselves? Or, what can help us to recognize our positive attributes?
One thing that can help is recognizing that we are the workmanship of our great Creator. David writes in Psalm 139:13-14, “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” When we look in a mirror, do we recognize that we are fearfully and wonderfully made? Fearfully, meaning, to cause astonishment and awe within us? Do we realize that we are wonderfully made? Consider for a moment how incredibly complex the human body is, and how every part, from the smallest cell to the largest organ work in perfect unity and harmony to allow for our bodies to live.
How could we ever think that we are not wonderfully made? Often, it is the pressure of our society and the circumstances of our lives that whittle away at our self-esteem. Sometimes our culture and up-bringing play a part in determining our level of self-esteem. For example, in the culture that I was raised in, children are rarely praised when they do things well. In some cases, they may never be told that they are loved or appreciated. This doesn’t mean that they’re not appreciated or loved; affection just isn’t shown as much. If children grow up without ever hearing this kind of positive feedback or without receiving signs of affection, they tend to believe that they’re not very appreciated and are not special in any way.
I remember reading an article that explained how self-esteem is not as closely related to a person’s socio-economic background as people tend to think; it is more related to how children (six and under) are treated and perceived by their parents. Children with low self-esteem enter adulthood without really knowing what a healthy self-esteem looks like. This is hard, because when they are praised, they might feel very good about themselves (because they have never received praise before), but later, when they are criticized for something, they feel completely deflated. Due to their upbringing, they have a hard time believing and internalizing that they are fearfully and wonderfully made.
We must remember, it isn’t anything that we do that determines our worth; our worth comes from God. We’ll look at this thought in next month’s publication.
The Psalmist reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by an incredible Creator. It is vital for us to have a healthy self-esteem because it has a life-long impact on so many areas of our life.
David Knelsen
Hamilton, ON
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