“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)
With a well-practiced sling shot, the shepherd boy who trusted in God freed his people from the disgrace that the blasphemous Goliath had brought upon Israel. This heroic deed caused Jonathan, the noble prince who had himself shown great heroism, to feel an immediate deep connection with the young harpist. After the battle, when David told Saul whose son he was, we read that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:1). The NIV translates this as “Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.”
Soul mates—that is the secret of this friendship. Every deep friendship is based on this. As Christians, we are to love all people, yet we cannot form a friendship with everyone. Friendship cannot be forced; it is a mystery of the heart. In the case of Jonathan and David, their spirits resonated. They felt drawn to one another as if by an invisible force, and nothing could separate them. What God has joined together, no human can separate. It is difficult to describe exactly how this works, often even those involved do not know. Yet their bond is almost irresistible. External differences are of no consequence. That Jonathan was a prince and David a shepherd, that one was rich and the other poor, that one wore royal robes and the other simple shepherd’s clothing—none of that mattered. Outward appearances are no obstacle to true friendship. Indeed, great differences can even enrich it, because they allow the two to complement one another. This was true between Jonathan and David.
Their Trial
Suffering with one another is also a part of friendship. With suffering, the bond of the soul becomes even stronger. A dark power attempted to drive a wedge between David and Jonathan. King Saul hated their bond. “Saul’s anger was aroused against Jonathan”, and he labelled him as perverse saying, “Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame?” (1 Samuel 20:30). Saul was determined to destroy this friendship, even if it cost David’s life. Thus, we read: “Now Saul spoke to Jonathan his son and to all his servants, that they should kill David; but Jonathan, Saul’s son, delighted greatly in David” (1 Samuel 19:1).
Saul himself also attempted to murder him, since God’s Spirit had long since departed from that unfortunate man, and envy filled his heart with anger, hatred, and a thirst for blood.
There was an evil spirit within Saul, and he sensed that God had chosen David to be king. Thus, David became the object of Saul’s hatred. That is why Jonathan’s great love for the man he hated was an abomination to him. This bond had to be broken—even if it meant both of them would perish. That was Saul’s decision.
It is hard to say who suffered more during this ordeal, David or Jonathan. Death threatened them both. At first, in his innocence, Jonathan could not imagine that his father would actually go to such extremes, and he sought to allay David’s fears. David, on the other hand, knew that he could expect the worst at any moment. He told Jonathan, “There is but a step between me and death” (1 Samuel 20:3).
When Jonathan finally recognized his father’s murderous intentions, he went out to David, who was being sorely tried. Amid bitter tears, they embraced each other. Yet this hardship only bound their hearts more firmly together. They said, “We have both sworn in the name of the LORD” and “May the LORD be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants, forever” (1 Samuel 20:42).
“A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17). Saul knew nothing of the indissolubility of such bonds of the heart. True friendship had never found a place in his darkened soul.
The Test of Their Friendship
So-called friendships often break down at the first sign of trouble. Where selfishness reigns, friendship cannot endure. If it is founded on selflessness and a willingness to sacrifice, however, it endures. Solomon says, “But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Jonathan proved this in a remarkable way. In this friendship, he had nothing to gain but everything to lose. He knew that God had chosen David to be king, yet he loved him as his own soul. Not the slightest envy stirred within him. For Jonathan, being David’s friend meant exposing himself to his father’s hatred. Nevertheless, he stood up for David and even tried to change his father’s mind.
Jonathan would rather remain loyal to David than become king himself. His friendship stood the test of the most severe trials. When David looked back on this friendship after Jonathan’s death, he exclaimed with deep emotion: “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; you have been very pleasant to me; your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women” (2 Samuel 1:26).
The Ultimate Friendship
There is, however, an even greater friendship than that between David and Jonathan. Jesus says, “You are My friends” (John 15:14). To be called a friend of Christ—that is the greatest honor. To live in close fellowship with the Son of God—is that even possible? Yes! Our Savior and Redeemer wants to be our friend. One beloved hymn says of Him, “The best Friend is in heaven.” In this friendship, we come into fellowship with the Most High, the Most Holy, and the Most Beautiful. To have this friendship is the highest honor that can be bestowed upon a human being. And this friendship never ends, for it is sealed by the blood of Jesus. Jesus invites every person into this lasting friendship with Him.
But there is one condition, He said: “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you” (John 15:14). When we are obedient to Him, He is our friend. He proved how much this friendship means to Him by giving His life for us. And He prayed to His heavenly Father on our behalf: ““Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am” (John 17:24). As long as we live on this earth, our best Friend wants to be with us and accompany us. And one day, in eternity, we will be at home with Him forever.
The question for us, therefore, is: Are we friends of the Lord Jesus? Can we truly testify and say that we have Him as our friend?
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