A while ago, I came across a post entitled, “8 Fights Worth Picking with Your Kids,” and as far as I can tell, it comes from an individual named David Morris. The article is written from the perspective of parents. I would like to share these “fights” with you, and as we go through them, I want you to consider why these things are so important to parents and why they are constantly encouraging their children and youth in these areas. For children and youth reading this, understanding your parent’s perspective might even help improve your relationship with them. Naturally, we also want to see what Scripture says about these topics.
1) The first fight that the author mentions is the “reading fight.” He says, “Make your kids read. Because reading is tied to everything from cognitive development to the ability to focus.” There are so many benefits that come from reading. Listening to audio books and podcasts can also be good, but there is something special about reading. I find this to be especially true about reading the Bible. At times I listen to my audio Bible, but I’ve noticed that I don’t catch nearly as much as when I read it. To help inspire you to grow in your love for reading God’s word, I would encourage you to read Psalm 119.
2) Second, is the “outside fight.” “Make your kids go outside. The natural world teaches us things. Plus, outside there’s sunshine, fresh air, and exercise waiting for them. Most importantly, nature is full of things in short supply in our world: Discovery, wonder, peace, joy.” When I’m outside, appreciating nature, I find that my soul becomes more focused on God and His creation. I feel like the Psalmist who writes in Psalm 8:3-4, “When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained, what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him?”
3) Third is the “work fight.” “Make your kids work. (…). There are priceless life principles you can only learn with a mop in your hand.” It’s important that we learn how to work. Proverbs 12:24 says, “The hand of the diligent will rule, but the lazy man will be put to forced labor.” We will struggle throughout life if we cultivate a lazy attitude. Not only that, Paul writes in 2 Thessalonians 3:10, “If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.” We should also strive to always do our best when we work. “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men” (Colossians 3:23).
4) Then there’s the “meal fight.” “Make your kids eat as a family. Our lives are a blur of incessant activity. Meals together are a physical pause to recover a truth so easily sacrificed at the altar of busyness.” Eating together provides opportunities for communication and fellowship which strengthens relationships. It’s no wonder that eating together helped the New Testament church to grow (Acts 2:46-47).
5) The “boredom fight” is next. “Make your kids live with boredom. (…) And, odd as it sounds, boredom is a skill.” Boredom can be an amazing asset. Boredom is the mother of innovation and creativity. I think of David. He was a shepherd who had a lot of time on his hands in the fields watching his family’s sheep. What did he do with his free time? He likely played his harp or wrote music. Roughly half the Psalms that we have in the Bible are attributed to him.
6) The next fight is the “me first fight.” “Make your kids go last. Not every time for everything. But enough to remember that the world doesn’t revolve around them.” Selflessness is a central part of Christianity. Christ put our needs before His own, and we are to do the same for others. Paul writes in Philippians 2:3-4, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
7) We then get to the “awkward conversation fight.” “Make your kids have uncomfortable conversations with you. (…) Your kids will roll their eyes and resist. You will stumble and stutter. They need and want your perspective, lessons learned, and wisdom.” Some of the biggest decisions or crossroads of our lives are the ones that we are often too afraid or ashamed to seek advice about. Parents want to teach their kids about these things. They want to live out Proverbs 22:6 which says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” However, sometimes parents don’t know where to start. It is a great help to them when their children and youth are transparent with them and seek their help.
8) Finally, there’s the “limitation fight.” “Learning to live within limits is a valuable life skill. In fact, many adult problems arise from an inability to accept them.” All people should have limits. Adults make their own limits, teens and kids need help with this. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Proverbs 25:16 says, “Have you found honey? Eat only as much as you need, lest you be filled with it and vomit.” Sometimes we need help knowing when and when not to do something, and sometimes we need others to set limits for us.
David Knelsen
Hamilton, Ontario
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